Alien Princess, Life as a Spiritual Being Having a Human Experience

Another day on planet earth,what a fucking drag.  The sun comes up, orbits around the planet and the moon rises.  365 days a year until I die or an orbit crashes down on my house.  Sometimes I wish it would.  My suburban hell hole is situated ontop of a vista overlooking the mountains.  The wind shakes this crafty cardboard palace, my earthship.

I have it good, by earth standards.  I live like a mother fucking princess.  I have a wicked truck, tons of crystals, sectionals for days, creature comforts and two hilarious cats.  I also live with a boss fairy,
she's fucking awesome.  Her life game is strong, I gave her two certificates of excellence, one for "life skills and being awesome" and the other one for "being a babe and scoring."

So why am I such a grumpy, moody, bratty baby monster?

Easy, I must have been an alien princess, dropped off on earth as a baby.  I've been waiting for 35 years to be returned to my home planet.  The idea of doing a life sentence in this flesh body is overwhelming.  I want to finish my mission and return to my home planet or heaven or whatever.

People say I'm an earth angel.  They say I'm a stargate.  An alien send here to study human energy patterns and transcend darkness into light.  Holy fuck what an order!

Well some days I resent being given a mental disorders to find mastery over....
I actually can't believe my creator thought I was bad ass enough to live well with bi-polar and ADHD. That I'd find a way to ignore the broken mind I've inherited and transcend the pain and suffering of some bad wiring and being incredibly sensitive.

I'm mad as hell that after 5 days of constant stress at work staring off my landscape season, my default is to want to start to spiral downwards, and that I literally have very little control over the horrible thoughts and feelings that start to surface.  My only defence is to stop analyzing those little bastards when I'm in a low state, refocus on anything, and see them as a symptom of stress not a permanent reality.  I know they are the shadows of low self esteem, childhood bullying, missing skills from childhood in terms of self validation and affirmation and a brain that goes off into fight, flight or freeze response to easily...

Anyways, my mission and everyones mission if they choose to accept it is to work towards finding a way to live well in-spite of the hardships of the human condition.  Its to be able to ask for help when we need it and to be able to help others that are suffering especially those with a similar plight.

So it looks like I'm gonna be here for awhile, navigating ugly low spots while aspiring towards lofty goals and moving towards mastery of my unique challenges and gifts.  Some days I sure wish that when they call my name at IKEA it's because the aliens have returned to bring me home, not just give me back my cell phone.  So I'll just do the best I can and stay strong knowing one day I'll be able to guide others in living well with various mental afflictions, because I learn the most from my tribe!